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Set your foundation with my ashes.

I just said “do you think this is tap water” as I took a disgusted sip

We stopped for food in hick-town Ft. Pierce on my way back from Orlando and like omg wow I’m unshaved and I look really masculine IMO but one of the servers was like “ma’am” and I was like op

I heard this party instructional dance song at orientation today and it’s been stuck in my head but just the beat like I can’t remember anything just that the beat sounded like the Cha Cha Slide and there were instructions to kick and then you do like the “twister” or “tornado” or something like that idk.

Maybe I’ll tell people I’m gay just so I can get the D and a boyf.

The frat houses here are filled with frat daddies like actual hot boys with cute fingers and faces who are totes down with the LGBT community because this is the gayest university of life.

computerisms replied to your post: There are boys who wear flip flops or Sperrys with…

flip flips

laffin’ in my hotel room

I got really distracted during the diversity performance because I caught a glimpse of this really hot guy who was rubbing his face and eyes and wow his fingers were so pretty I wanted them in my mouth that very moment!!

There are boys who wear flip flops or Sperrys with no socks coupled with khaki shorts and tight-fitting Guy Harvey fishing shirts and they are my faves.

You can totally tell what a guy’s dick looks like based on his body and face.

There was a really hot guy in my orientation group today omg he was big and bulky and had gorgeous calves and pretty nails and I would always catch a glimpse of his happy trail when he’d stretch wow what a gorgeous male specimen.

zackisontumblr:

i dont care if its hot i just dont want to sweat

(via lvpochkv)

computerisms:

mary the knight

computerisms:

i’m going to torture myself (listen to born this way)